THE RIGHT TOUCH / THE BAD TOUCH AND HOW CAN WE TEACH IT?

It is a sensitive subject to discuss. Something it doesn't sound healthy to talk about. Something uncomfortable and awkward to open not only in the community, in any group, but especially in the four corners of our home, with our loved ones whom we cherish and protect so much.

However, sometimes we have no choice but to face the reality we face, as much as we want to deny its essential nature. We must open up, put aside the awkwardness, and even our indifference, and face the harshness of this matter.


What makes it more difficult for us to face is that some of us may have our own accounts of the worst part of our childhood, namely sexual abuse. This may bother you, as it can open up scars that have healed over time. But, ironic as it sounds, it makes sharing and discussion more important. With a lot of the cases we see and hear on TV, in newspapers, and on social media getting worse and worse, one of the best things we can do to prevent this from happening to our beings. dear, especially to our children, is to educate them about the so-called "good and bad touch".

THE CONCEPT OF GOOD AND BAD TOUCH

The whole phase of childhood is the sweetest and most delicate period of every person. This is the time in our lives when we need a lot of attention, care, love and understanding from older people. And what can be a better way to give it away than with little kisses, hugs and other physical contact?

With this overwhelming feeling of being loved upon receiving such actions, it becomes frightening to be subject to touching abusive "hands". These gestures that will leave the child confused, afraid and in pain. Worse case? These “bad hands” can come from the closest people in the child's life, those who are dear to him and whom the child trusts.

Another frustrating aspect is that the victims are getting younger and younger, the phase where they are still not aware of the good and the bad, the good and the bad.

Basically, the good hits are the nice ones, the ones who show care, love and help. Usually this is done by the closest to the child, it is hugs and kisses from parents and grandparents, shoulder nicks from siblings and cousins. Many people can do these things with the child, as long as the child feels safe and is not afraid every time he is touched.

However, the negative points are the touches that make the child uncomfortable, give such an unpleasant feeling that the child wants us to stop on the spot. Regardless of the type of touch, as long as the child feels uncomfortable and it hurts, it is considered bad touch. Some examples of bad touch involve private parts for no reason. A person who goes to touch a private part of the child and tells him not to tell anyone else.




FIRST THING FIRST: THREE THINGS CHILDREN NEED TO KNOW

Before educating children, three important questions should be taught about good and bad touch.

- Firstly, children should know the names of the parts of their body, especially the private parts that no one should touch. By teaching them the appropriate terms and what it means, children will understand the idea that not everyone can touch these private parts and will know if it is okay to tell someone else about it.
- Second, children must be aware of being the "boss" of their body. Anything that makes them feel uncomfortable and uncomfortable should be stopped. By letting them know that they are in control of their bodies, and decide who can touch them and how. Additionally, adults should never force children to give and receive little kisses, hugs, and other attentions from others if they are uncomfortable. It will make them feel like it's okay to say "no" to other people's touches.
- Finally, it is the part on which they must be informed of safe, dangerous and undesirable touches, and be able to identify them. In addition to the aforementioned concepts of good (safe) and bad (insecure) touches, unwanted touches are the small touches that seem safe (good), but that the child is reluctant to anyone.

When the child is already aware and aware of these issues, he is then able to learn more about the good and bad touches, and how to avoid those that are bad and unwanted.

SOME TIPS FOR TEACHING CHILDREN THE RIGHT AND BAD TOUCH

1. Keep the conversation / communication easy. This will put the child at ease and allow him to openly ask questions.
2. Empower them to say NO. Let them know that as long as the touch makes them feel uncomfortable and scared, they can say NO.
3. Tell them to always be open and make them feel they can open up to you.
4. Help the child to trust their feelings and instincts.
5. Practice or role-play so they can know what to do in real situations.

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