Despite the happiness a child can bring to a family, having more than one child in the family can be stressful. Just like Cinderella and her fight with her half-sisters, as long as there are at least two children at home, there will always be rivalry. They can hurt each other through simple teasing, and one of them can cry, this quarrel does not end (because it is a first, but certainly not the last!) Only if one of the parents ( or both) begins to raise the tone. Whatever the reasons why they argue, promoting a warm, peaceful and harmonious relationship between children has always been the greatest dream of all parents, even if they are often upset by children.
WHY NOT ALLOW SOME THINGS FOR CHILDREN?
First of all, it is important to know and understand why children quarrel. The reasons may seem insane to adults, but for children it counts. Here are some of his reasons:
- They are always eager to draw the attention of parents to them.
- The feeling of being superior.
- Sometimes teasing their brothers is a good way for them to overcome their boredom.
- It is also a means of communicating with their brothers and sisters.
- It is their strategy to obtain and establish physical contact.
- The desire to become the "most loved" by their parents by giving a bad image of their brother or sister.
These seem important and natural for a child who is going through different phases of his physical and psychological development. And fighting with your brothers and sisters is one of the ways to achieve your goals. Since it is not a good method, parents and other adult family members can help them reach their goals in the right way.
WHAT BRINGS RIVALITY BETWEEN CHILDREN?
Just as parents cannot choose their child, so too do all of their siblings' children. Furthermore, the fact that each child is different from each other, as parents, knowing certain means which reduce rivalry between brothers and sisters can in a way help to attenuate the intense arguments between the children.
Here are some factors that can lead to quarrels between siblings:
As the child grows, he discovers his specificity as an individual - his strengths, his weaknesses, his abilities and his skills. And during this process, he wants to show his parents how he is different from his other brothers and sisters.
Every child can feel the lack of love, care and affection from their parents.
The relationship between a child and his parents can possibly deteriorate with the arrival of a new baby in the family.
Hungry, emotional or irritated children. They are more likely to have more quarrels.
Their position within the family means that they are very much responsible for taking on the responsibilities of older children and trying to be like older siblings.
With these, the most important factor depends on the parents. The way they educate them, their attitudes towards all situations, the time they spend with them and the way they treat them, can have a big impact on the way they value not only their parents and siblings. , but also how they self-assess.
THE DIFFERENT FORMS OF RIVALITY BETWEEN THE BROTHERS.
Quarrels between siblings are not just about teasing and hurting yourself. Children can have many ways to start fights with their siblings. Here are some of their provocative actions:
- name designation,
- challenge a conviction
- simple looks
- break something that belongs to the other,
- throw something on the other,
- hide something that is important to the other
Some of them are well-known strategies and, depending on the child's “creativity”, he may even create new ploys on how to harm his brother and sister.
HOW TO MANAGE RIVALITY BETWEEN CHILDREN?
Although sibling rivalry seems to be a normal phenomenon in all families, there are ways to reduce these stressors in our children.
Never compare one child to another. Each person is different and has their own qualities. Even if they are your own children and they have your genes, they are still different. Instead of comparing them, you can encourage them by talking about each of their strengths, and give goals specific to each.
Do not get upset with children because of their bitterness or their feeling of anger. As with other emotions, anger is something that you should discuss with children, because it is completely normal for them to feel this sometimes. Before discussing it, you must also pull yourself together, have control of yourself so as not to get angry or angry. Make them feel that you know and understand what they are feeling and discuss it with them.
Stay away from situations that could frustrate the other brother. However, we must teach them that feelings and actions are two different things. It is normal that we are not often in a good mood, but making inappropriate gestures is not good.