Helicopter Parenting Facts
If you are the type of parent who becomes your child's shadow and always interferes with their actions and decisions, then you are undoubtedly a parent of the helicopter.
Helicopter parenting, a term coined by Foster Cline and Jim Fay, is one of the modernized and recognized types of parenting. It manifests as excessive protection and handling of children. Parents of the helicopter are too vigilant about their children and always to the rescue, even at the first sign of problems, disappointment or other incidents, situations in which a child can be injured or cause pain.
Distinct Behaviors of a Helicopter Parent
According to the Gottman Institute, helicopter parents illustrate three distinct behaviors:
Attitude towards information
Parents want to know their children's daily routines, including their schedules and where they live. In addition, they also want to know about other matters concerning their children, such as their decisions, achievements and even their grades.
Parents also intervene in conflicts between children, fighting almost every battle.
Limitation of autonomy
Parents control the lives of their children because they prevent them from facing the harshness of this world by helping them not to make mistakes, to the point of not supporting their decisions.
Implications of parenting by helicopter
Generally, overprotective parents create a lasting impact on their child's personality, since they only prolong their childhood phase.
On the different research on different types of parenting and its effects on each child, here are some of the negative effects on children whose parents are helicopter:
Children, who have helicopter parents, are less open to new ideas and possibilities. They are more anxious, helpless and oblivious to themselves.
Children whose parents are intrusive and who have high expectations of them (eg their academic results) are more critical of themselves and more likely to become depressed. This behavior is also called maladaptive perfectionism. This happens because these parents give their children the feeling that what they are doing is not always enough.
Helicopter parenting is also associated with poor emotional functioning, decision-making and other abilities such as children's academic abilities.
The parents of the helicopter also affect the social stability of their children as they continue to help and involve with the children, which prevents their full development.
Children fail to use their abilities because their parents are always involved in almost everything that happens in their lives.
How to break the habit of being a helicopter parent
Now that the negative effects of helicopter parents have been revealed, one way to put our children in vulnerability is to break the habit of overprotecting and controlling their children.
How to free yourself from this parenting style?
Try to do the following:
Show support for your child by listening to him and not pushing what you want for him.
Stop doing everything to your child, even his homework.
Avoid helping your child escape the consequences of his or her actions or decisions, unless it is a potentially vital issue. They can learn more by allowing them to experience the results of what they have done.
Teach and encourage your children to speak for themselves and not to speak for them.
Embrace your child's identity, and that includes their weaknesses. Help them use their skills and abilities to achieve their aspirations.